"Get over it. You usually just have to be scruffy and wear a different color tie. I have to put up with this shit EVERY. SINGLE. MISSION."
"But eyeliner is for girls and wusses."
"Vaughn, get over it."
"Lauren looks good in eyeliner. Especially when it's dark and heavy around the eyes and--"
"Okay. I have NO need to know about your fantasy life with your wife. Remember me? The one you couldn't live without and were broken up at my funeral? And then you go and marry that whore less than a year after my death?"
"Leave her out of it."
"Fine. But you're still wearing eyeliner."
****
Later, in Berlin...
****
"How do women do this every day?"
"It's a gift and a curse. Do you need help?"
"No. I can do this."
"Is that why the eyeliner is going down your cheek?"
"Shut up. At least I got my piercings in. Unlike certain people couldn't do."
"I heard that."
"Of course Weiss heard that, you imbecile. And his earring was real, not fake. ANYone can attach fake liprings. Poor Eric had to have his ear repierced."
"Poor Eric is right. I didn't get nearly enough sugar for what I had to suffer through."
"You got plenty, you big baby."
"Can we get back to the mission? Weiss, how do the monitors look?"
"You're all clear, goth!boy."
"Thanks. Now shut up and let us do our job."
"Methinks someone needs some loving."
"ERIC."
"Going now."
"Are you sure you don't need help with the eyeliner? And while you're at it, you need more product in your hair. Good lord. It's like I'm turning into Carson or Kyan."
"Who?"
"Carson and Kyan? From Queer Eye? On Bravo? Ted? Thom? Little Jai? Don't you ever pay attention to anything?"
"Not things like that. I'm an important employee of the government."
"Whatever."
"Don't roll your eyes."
"Do you need help with the eyeliner or not?"
"Yes, please."
"Then shut up or I'll poke your eye out with the pencil."
"Like you'd really do that to me."
"Wanna try me? Shut up and suck on your fake lipring."
"Like I said, like you'll really poke my eye-- hey! You're getting too close!"
"I told you I'd poke your eye out if you didn't shut up."
"Let's get this over with."
"My thoughts exactly."
"Are you finished yet?"
"Now I am. Let's get this show on the road. I just hope I don't have to take this guy's pants. Cause really, all I need to make this night perfect is to see some guy's leopard-clad ass."
END